Mariah Carey Is A Goddess Of The Sea, Commander Of Dolphins
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Mariah Carey has had the powers of the sea bestowed upon on her royal self. During a playful trip with dem babies at Georgia Aquarium’s Ocean Voyager, the Queen commanded two dolphins to bend at her will and pose for a perfect sea-selfie.
All hail the mighty Mimi, commanding leader of the Dolphins as declared by Poseidon himself.
Befitting a goddess of such high regard, MC’s ocean prowess will be forever known in the night skies as the constellation Miminius. Mariah, guided by her dolphin cohorts, rides an endless ocean of stars in the heavens, protecting all mild-mannered sea creatures below.

Not one to stray far from her adoring masses, the ever-ethereal Mariah has also been known to take the physical form of a Mermaid, affectionately known as the “Mermimi.”

Here’s to hoping the elusive chanteuse‘s next installation will be something along the lines ofThe Emancipation of Mermimi. We can only dream, John Walker.
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